The Lighthouse – searching for lost souls

 but the one that made them has not yet been rewarded for her bad deeds… Seems that if she is told to mind her own business, she will likely claim that I am doing bad things… and will cause more trouble – I need a pest control pro… Such is life in small town south… I guess I will NEVER be one of them – thank goodness! But I would prefer that THEY didn’t treat me like the enemy – I am just not born a Confederate – I was born into the U.S.A… Not too proud of what America has become, but not going to be like THEM – EVER…. I can’t reject all evolution as a Yankee Republican plot…

No leaving, either…. They will have to put up with an outsider and get over it or go crazy trying to discredit me… I checked the U.S. map and yes – Tennessee is on there – part of the U.S no matter how stubborn they may be.

Thanks Lois – it is good to know who your freinds are and who aren’t your freinds… Hope you get your just reward!

I might find out but only after I die – I want to know!

No matter what happens I will end up dead and can take nothing with me. I hope God can sort out the lies better than the Establishment does… It would be great if all lies were seen for what they are. The movie Liar Liar is my idea of Heaven… But humans seem to not like the truth at times – would rather be lied to about some things… I can take the truth – I am fat and old – but I don’t lie… 6’2″ – about – and about 245 pounds – that is fat in my opinion. And 61 is old – way past half used up… might not see 62 – don’t care to see it…

Humans invent TV and Internet – best learning tools ever and what do they teach? Garbage! The Capitalists that use people dominate every communication there is…

Snowing and windy – 22 degrees feels like 8… Snowed in this hole again – can get out every few days and then it lets us have it again… I feel sorry for the horses out there but can do nothing because I have no money to build a good barn. Not broke because I didn’t work and invest in Real Estate – I did, but a lying woman took it all when I was 57 and I havn’t been able to get back out of the hole – too old and employers won’t hire an old fart. Forced to retire at 62 or just be without any money. That is not enough to live on so I am destined to suffer until death. Dreams of raising KOI fish and training horses has been dashed by a woman who sides with “friends” who spread lies and won’t believe the truth. I can’t live under that sort of doubt from her. And what happens if someone does finally convince her that I was telling the truth and her friend was spreading lies… It doesn’t matter now that she has shown me that a lie will easily sway her to distrust me…

Near the end of the ride and waiting – just waiting for it to end and hoping it will come soon.

Myself – no one else cares. At least here I don’t get arguements – just want to say the truth and get it off my chest – don’t care if  it is accepted -

When someone hears a story and accuses me as if it were gospel truth – “Why did you do that?” Not did you do that, or I heard that you did this… Just “Why?”  That hurts me… I requested to be put on a lie detector – but she doesn’t trust them – but she believes a gossiping friend. I pleaded that she believe me and nothing I coul say could sway her from her belief of her friend… Some friend!

Now I get – she will believe me “until I am proven to be lying”  Not unless it is proved, but UNTIL… Sorry if there are misspelled words or typo’s here – I am upset to say the least. She looks at me with such anger – like I did what I was wrongfully acused of… telling some people – I guess her freinds – that they could not come here…

So why am I talkiing here? Because I feel a need to talk about it and she says it is abuse if I keep going on about it with her. BUT… It isn’t abuse that she wrongfully acusses me of lying???? I tell her to look at the facts and logic – she sees and talks to friends every time she goes into WalMart or anyplace at all – this is a small town and she knows people everyplace… But I can’t present logic to her – that is abuse… I guess it is abusive to ask her to be logical – if I say it more than once – what is the legal limit of trying to get someone to be logical?

So – I give up! She formed her opinion and she can keep it – but not me! I am sticking around until Saturday to face whoever might face p to me with their lies – I know that no one will do that because they are fictional – there are none – just a woman who likes to cause turmoil for her own entertainment. But if I leave now it would look like I am guilty and scared – NOT!

Liars and crooks in general seem to have the edge in this world – strange… I don’t like being in a world like that. The best act is taken as real and the real is doubted. I don’t know how to express my feelings here except that it doesn’t seem fair and there whould be a way to tell when people are lying – other than to have them “swear on a bible” which is rediculous because a liar and cheat doesn’t respect anything, especially religions.

I have had my fill and then some now. I have worked hard and tried to be honest and that has left me broke from being taken advantage of by dishonest greedy people. Employers, wives, friends and even my daughter have used me until I am sick of being in this world.

Today a friend of my companion told her some lies that I have told people – her friends I suppose – that they could not come here and I am very confused -wondering why they would attack me this way. Even more confused that my companion at that time believed her and accused me of lying… But her friend is a fellow Confederate and I am not – not a Yankee, but not a Confederate, either… So – I have to PROVE that I am not lying – but the friend needs not verify anything – she said it and that is enough…

All I can figure is that her friend is not happy unless there is unrest – too boring if she can’t spread bad gossip…

Back in about the year 2000 a woman told my wife a bunch of lies and she refused to believe me telling her the truth… She then told lies to the courts and took all I had. I was 57 then I think… Then I trusted a Russian woman who took me so her and her daughter could get a good start in America… I like to be helpful, but not used!

So – the police came here to do a “wellness check” on her… Since the past two wives have lied and said I was abusive – the Russian said I threatened to kill her when she had threatened to kill me – this is not good… Although I am innocent of being abusive and certainly never threatend to kill anyone, it makes me look bad due to the prior lies being submitted into my police records… Not proven at all, and totally false, but claims make me look bad.

I can’t stay here now… with lies being spread for an unknown reason, I know the police will deem me guilty. Besides – if she will believe rumors without any proof and demand that I prove otherwise – what is there?